Commentary: In Search of a Caretaker

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I have spent a lot of time recently reflecting on this past year, including the incalculable ways the pandemic has changed our realities and upended our lives. Unfortunately, as I’m sure is the case for many of you, this exercise is not a particularly joyous one. However, glimmers of hope can be found if one looks hard enough.

For example, April represented both the one-year anniversary of my father’s unexpected and sudden death, as well as his birthday. The former conjures up feelings of deep sadness and remorse, while the latter reminds me of fond times. The tree that we planted in our front yard in his memory is starting to bloom for spring. I see it every time I leave my house and I remember to be grateful for him and the life he led.

There are other reasons for optimism and gratitude. I received my second COVID vaccine the other week. In light of dire warnings from friends and family about the side effects from the second shot, I drank a copious amount of Gatorade and took Tylenol before I went to bed on the day that I received the vaccine. I woke up feeling great, if not a bit guilty that I escaped the fate that many of my loved ones faced.

Several of my friends and family members are now fully vaccinated, and I’m starting to receive photos and updates from “the other side” — i.e., bars, restaurants and sporting events. These photos evoke similar emotions to seeing grainy shots of other planets, but I’m starting to confront the fact that life is starting to creep back to normal, or at least some semblance thereof. My wife’s sister, who is also fully vaccinated, visited us this past weekend from Virginia. It felt strange having another human in our house, but gave me hope that we are heading into brighter days.

Another reason for optimism comes in the form of our daughter, Josephine, who just turned three-months old. If you are a frequent reader of this column, you are well aware of this fact. Unfortunately for you, however, every waking minute these days is either spent with her or on Zoom calls with clients and colleagues, so I have nothing else to write about.

My wife, Laura, and I are currently in the process of finding a nanny, which has been a nearly impossible task for numerous reasons. First, COVID has made it difficult to meet anymore, and we’ve had to settle for video chats, which has its obvious limitations. For example, it’s hard to ascertain whether a person is capable of negligent or reckless homicide when simply viewing a choppy video of them. Second, apparently we weren’t the only ones to have a “Coronial” (i.e., a baby born during quarantine), because the market is incredibly competitive. We’ve made no less than five offers to prospective nannies, and have been rebuffed by each of them. I’m considering throwing in the deed to our home with our next offer.

The search has also raised unexpected legal issues. We are doing a “nanny share” with a couple who lives in our neighborhood, which is a relatively new concept where we’ll “share” the nanny with the other couple (who also has a newborn), with the nanny watching each of our children and alternating between our respective houses each week. After consulting with a few of my tax and employment colleagues, we’ve decided to form an LLC to act as the employer, which avoids the issue of having two families each being deemed to be employers for purposes of state and local laws.

However, this has required me to prepare and negotiate an LLC Agreement. I’ve drafted a neutral, fair and relatively standard agreement, but, according to Laura, my 60-page agreement is “overkill.” She’s worried that I’m going to scare off the other couple. I responded by adding a “break up” fee to the agreement and sending it out. I’m not sure that’s what she had in mind. It’s been three weeks, and I’m still waiting to receive the signed copy back.

I’ve also been consulting with my employment law colleague to develop a list of appropriate interview questions. Can we ask whether the person has legal status in the United States? Whether they plan to get the COVID vaccine? How about whether they have a family here or are intending to stay long-term? Whether a child has ever died on their watch? Do they hate lawyers? Other than the last question (which I assume will often be answered in the affirmative or untruthfully), all of these questions raise potential legal issues to varying degrees. Fortunately Laura, who is much more tactful and diplomatic, has been primarily responsible for the questioning.

As I write this, I just received a written response to the questions that we posed to a prospective nanny (who was “too busy” last night to do a phone or video interview). In response to question #6.a., which asked her to “Describe one or more difficult circumstances that you have encountered and how you handled the situation,” she noted as follows: “I’ve had two babies choke (but only one had to be rushed to the hospital) and two broken bones.” Intentionally or not, she left out the part about “how she handled the situation.”

On that note, and at the urgent request of my wife, I’d like to use this last paragraph to request the services of anyone reading this column to serve as sweet baby Josephine’s nanny. Pay and benefits are good. Full access to our cars and refrigerator. No references needed.

And I’ll throw in the deed to our house.